Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize