never play flip cup with pint glasses
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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