? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
