threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
