actually, I'm a sock model
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
