i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
