If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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