so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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