Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize