She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm both gender and math confused
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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