just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
