We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
