goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
we're so committed to being not committed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
