Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
