this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just cut my nipple shaving
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Pants are for mortals
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Text me some of your sweat
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