sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
