I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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