So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
