I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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