Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
