he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
