You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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