...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize