She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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