Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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