yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
