i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
