Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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