Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
