Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Small penises have feelings too.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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