I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize