I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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