You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize