I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
