i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
