Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
