im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
