fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
