She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
