BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
