just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
