carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you traded sex for a burrito?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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