Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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