..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
its liver damage thursday
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
