i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize