my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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