you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
