Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
