Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize