Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
