Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm both gender and math confused
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
