You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
