My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
