She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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