your room smells of hookers.
And success
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
