Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
