I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
