So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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